Connecting Conversation and Kumite: Move according to your opponent

At an early age we learn to speak according to our audience.  The tone and inflection that we use depends on the audience and the intent of the message.  For instance, when someone walks in to their surprise birthday party, everyone merrily exclaims, ‘Surprise!’ It would be strange to whisper ‘Surprise’ instead of shout. When someone is telling you a sad story, perhaps about a loss of a loved one, you will likely respond similarly to how the speaker has told you the news. You would choose your words wisely and speak in a soft tone. Sometimes the dynamic between the speaker and the listener must be the opposite.  Observing the speaker is key to knowing how to respond. During an argument with someone who is yelling and very emotional, it is best to use a calm and assertive voice instead of matching the intensity of the other person. Being calm and assertive will allow you to be in control of what you say and how you are presenting yourself. When both sides of an argument lack control and are very emotional, the argument may escalate into a physical dispute.
Just like we must answer according to the speaker, you must always respond according to your opponent (Niju Kun #13) in kumite and combat. We begin to see this in very basic training- gohon and sanbon kumite. As the offensive side moves forward, the defense steps back. The defensive side is learning to move according to when and how the offensive side advances.  This concept is continued throughout all levels of kumite.  Movement isn’t the only catalyst which manifests a response. Just like you change the way you speak according to your audience, you must change the way you fight according to your opponent. Height difference, strengths and weaknesses of opponent, intensity and presence are all factors in responding.  Tall people have long limbs, which is obvious, but be aware of this when fighting. Understanding their distance is key to success.  When fighting a shorter person, attempt to use your longer limbs as your advantage. Force your distance on them.  Take notice of your opponents’ favorite techniques as well as what they don’t do well. Perhaps they are a very strong attacker but they do not defend well.  In this scenario, you must become the aggressor.  Attacking the opponent may break their focus and give you an opportunity. Intensity is something that can be seen, felt and sometimes heard.  Most of the time in a tournament the intensity is high. High intensity is good; however you must maintain control of your techniques and your mind. It is important to monitor the intensity level of your opponent, and watch for signs of emotion.  Emotions come from high intensity and a cluttered mind. They may be emotional because they feel pressure to win, they are mad about a point scored/not scored, or they may want to hurt you. Emotions will affect how the practitioner fights and they will not be stable, and injuries often occur.  Do not allow their emotion to affect your fighting behavior.  When this happens, it is best to end the fight as quickly and cleanly as possible.
How many times have you asked someone what their name is only to forget their name seconds later? If you are like most people, this happens a lot. It is because we are not being active listeners- we have other thoughts on our minds at the time.
Often times when we are ‘listening’, we allow our minds to wander or to go off on to tangents based on something the speaker has said.  Be aware of yourself and where your concentration is during the conversation. Another habit is to think about your response to the speaker before the speaker finishes talking. If we truly want to know and are interested in the speaker, we should commit all of our attention on them, and not ourselves. In kumite, or in a self-defense situation, listening to your opponent is vital. Though there may not be a lot of words exchanged, there is still plenty reason to listen.  In any given match all practitioners have ‘tells.’  These tells may be easy to see, such as moving their arms forward before they kick or moving their front foot out before they step.  Some of these tells are harder to recognize; the karate player may use a certain stance before a particular technique as in using a one line stance before attempting ushirogeri.  By listening (watching) to these tells, you will be better prepared to respond to your opponent.  If you pick up on these tells and see one, you will have the advantage. Keeping your mind focused on your opponent and not yourself is key to success.  Always focus your attention on what your opponent is doing and not what you are doing. Be aware of your thoughts during the match, don’t think or plan out what your next attack will be.  Don’t think- just watch. During conversation, if you aren’t being an active listener, you may just be considered rude or absent minded. During kumite, if you do not watch out for tells and are too focused on yourself, you will miss opportunities to strike or to defend yourself.
Lastly, during both conversations and kumite, you must keep your mind open and free from distractions. When you are speaking with someone, have an empty mind and listen to the speaker. Distractions may be your cell phone or other people in the room.  Ignore all distractions so your mind cannot wander.  This will allow you to absorb what they are saying so you may give an appropriate response.  During kumite if you keep your mind open, your body will be relaxed.  A busy or cluttered mind causes your body to tense because you will be anticipating movement from the opponent.  During this time of anticipation, you are vulnerable because you aren’t focused on your opponent- you are focused on how you will react to a possible attack. Your reaction time will be slowed as well. Since your body is already tense, your body must first relax then move according to the opponent. If your mind is open and your body is relaxed, you will be able to react immediately when the person moves.
When all of these pieces come together you will be more comfortable in sparring and speaking in day to day interactions. In kumite, remember to always move accordingly, listen (or watch) accordingly and have an empty mind. Speaking accordingly, listening accordingly and blocking out distractions will enable you to become a better and more cognizant conversationalist. In both scenarios, it is crucial to focus on them and not you. This is a difficult thing to do. Mastering conversation will help you with your personal and professional relationships. Use these practices in your everyday life; at the dojo, home, the office and anywhere you go. Just as Niju Kun #10 advises: once we begin these practices daily, we will see the true beauty of karate-do.